What's a 🚩 got to do with love?
Is there a scientific explanation for why women choose to ignore some very obvious red flags when it comes to dating? We’ve been told that love is a drug- or that brain chemistry makes love hormones work in a way that clouds our judgment. The highs are so intense that you lose sight of what’s right, much to the chagrin of our loved ones and future, wiser selves.
But let’s, for a moment, embrace the blunders we’ve made. Hey, it’s okay to make a few mistakes along the way (even though that journey may be an endless one!). I can’t change how the laws of attraction work but I can joke about it. Well…in hindsight—say, 10 years after it happened:
He was a wonderful boy I met at 21. He paid attention and cared for me. One day, he surprised me with my favourite coffee one day. Soon after, he announced his love for me. I pointed out that we had only known each other for two weeks and there couldn't be anything serious. He then asked to be paid back for the coffee. But, you know, he stayed a dear friend- although I am not sure why he was always fuming with anger whenever I was in his periphery.
We were great friends! I loved the flirtatious vibe between us. He checked in with me everyday. How silly of me to overreact just because he got handsy after only a week of knowing me. He loved his gym, his bike, his women and his booze. Clearly, all signs pointed to a serious relationship.
I met him while volunteering- the meetcute of all meetcutes! It spoke highly of his character and kindness. Sometimes, he lost control and yelled at me occasionally (pretty often) because he was unhappy at work. He was only human!
The most handsome and charming man on planet earth happened to cross paths with me on a fateful day in August. I was riveted. So was he. We entered into a whirlwind situationship. The highs and lows made everything unpredictable, heightened my anxiety and drove me nuts. Oh, but isn't all love torment? He was a one woman man- he often spoke of and to his ex. Which, of course, meant that one day I would be that woman who he had eyes for exclusively.
He was ambitious, driven and shy at first. I liked hanging out with him. He did not want anything serious. But hey, I was 25- I had the rest of my life to be serious! As someone who does not understand the concept of a casual relationship, I was enamoured with him. It did not matter that our political ideologies didn't align. Or that he showed narcissistic tendencies- confidence builds character! Or that he disliked being given advice- he felt infantilised. No man in 'power' would tolerate it.
Any red flags that came in the way of love, ladies? Send in your comments.
We’ve all been there!